Redefine Your 2021 Resolutions

This Year Create Inspiring and Achievable Goals

NICKY, A 51-YEAR-OLD EVENTS PLANNER, CONTACTED ME to help her follow through on her goal of finding a great life partner. Nicky had had this goal for many years, but would give up after having disappointing relationships and weird experiences with online dating. To help Nicky stay inspired and committed to her goal, we created a visualization about how she expects to feel when she is in a great relationship. Nicky set a goal of doing this visualization at least three times a day so that she could stay inspired.

We then converted Nicky’s long-term goal into actionable items. The first step in creating a long-term relationship: meeting men. And Nicky wasn’t meeting any guys in her SF apartment. She set a goal of going out to a coffee shop and a wine bar once a week and committed to spending an hour a week on dating apps.

When I checked in with Nicky a few weeks later, she had begun using a dating app and was in conversation with several prospects. However, she had been inconsistent with getting out to coffee and wine places. It’s hard to keep working towards a big goal when success does not come immediately; you need to reward the smaller, actionable steps towards those goals. Nicky decided to reward herself with a spa day when she met her short-term goals four weeks in a row.

At press time, Nicky is diligently following through on her small steps towards her big goal. She has met a lovely gentleman and they have gone on a few promising dates.

You may not be searching for your soulmate, but in all probability, you have some of the problems that Nicky has had with staying inspired and committed to long-term goals. According to some estimates, 80 percent of New Year’s resolutions fail by mid-February. But setting intentions is important to creating the life that you desire. Tony Robbins, the guru of transformation, says, “Effective goal-setting helps you stay focused, keeps you accountable, and is the single most important aspect of reaching your dreams.”


  1. Vividly imagine what you will feel like when you have achieved your goal. Practice this visualization at least three times a day to stay inspired.
  2. Write down your goals. Dr. Gail Matthews of Dominican University led a study that found that people are 42 percent more likely to achieve their goals if they write them down.
  3. Break large goals into specific and measurable steps. Martha Beck, Oprah’s go-to life coach, says “A turtle step is the least I can do, divided in half. It’s also the only way I’ve ever achieved anything.”
  4. Reward yourself for reaching small goals along the way. Many resolutions are long-term; make sure you reward yourself for attaining short-term goals.
  5. Be accountable to yourself and someone else. Set up a weekly check-in with yourself and recruit a reliable accountability partner to ensure that you stick with your commitment.
  6. Modify goals as needed. Evaluate what’s working and what isn’t, and change your plan accordingly.

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